Wednesday, November 6, 2013


Sunday, November 10th, marks one year since my husband, Clay, departed this life.   In a way, I had lost him several years before.  Frontal lobe dementia had taken him from me. 
I stood by him to the end though it was not easy, as many of my friends and family can attest.  There were times I wanted to run, to flee the ‘dementia Clay’ who was no one I knew.  Then I would recall all the wonderful moments we shared and the memories we created.  I would remember the day he was told his diagnosis and how he turned to me and pleaded for me to never leave him.  At that moment I promised I would stay with him just as we vowed on our wedding day.
If roles were reversed, I would like to believe he would have stayed with me.
As the day draws near, my emotions have been a roller coaster.  After we lose loved ones, we invariably often think of things we wish we had said or done.  I only wish he could have been MY Clay, the man I fell in love with and married, one more time so I could have held him, told him I loved him, and heard him say the same to me.
So mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, sons daughters, sisters, brothers…go embrace a loved one and say I love you.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss. And I will go hug my kids and wife.

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

  3. This is indeed a hard time. I keep writing things and erasing them. Words fall short of any wish for comfort in sorrow, praise for promises kept, and the acknowledgement of how short and tenuous life is, how good fortune and good times can turn and leave us gasping with pain and loss. I will remember to cherish my dear ones. With admiration and affection, Alice

  4. Dearest Rose:
    When you read the poem yesterday I did not realize the impending death anniversary you were facing.
    For me it doesn't seem like a year ago that I sat there with you in that conference.
    You are right grieving is a very brave journey we all have to take several times in our life. I just finished a magical, sad, hopeful, poignant story from a mother of a child shot down in Sandy Hook. She makes some good points about the grieving process.
    You are a very brave woman to fully feel your pain. this is like a dark forest that the only way to the other side is to go through it.
    I would encourage you to have a ritual on Sunday for him. the first year anniversary is very difficult, I'm sorry for you for that--but you've already gone thru many holidays for the first time--I'm sure they were hard also.

    Live, Love, Laugh,

  5. One year. One year is not a drop in a bucket and grieving has no timeline. One year can seem like yesterday, and I imagine it feels like it.

  6. Remembering with you dear Rose, I remember last year very well at that time for you and its bittersweetness.
    Thinking of you.

  7. Hugs and blessings, dear. Hugs and blessings!

  8. My heart goes out to you as you mark the year after Clay's passing. Nothing can fill the void in his absence has caused, although friends do help. I send healing light your way. Be good to yourself and take any and all comfort that is offered you. You well deserve it. Warmly, Orice

  9. Dear Rose, I know that your sweet husbands passing was bitter sweet. Hard to lose the old Clay, but the dementia Clay would now be rid of that terrible disease. My Mil suffered with dementia for the last few years of her life. I know what you mean. She was not the same Bonnie that we all knew. When she passed we missed her, but try to remember her as the old Bonnie! Hugs for you sweet friend!