MUSINGS, MEANDERINGS AND MERRIMENT FROM ROSE

WHY?

2012-02-04T23:47:00.000-08:00

I wish I could ask God to show me what will happen in my future, to allow me to bargain for changes, and to remove all the potholes and stones along the path I walk in life. The fear of the unknown is so overpowering at times and can hinder moving forward. When life is filled with fears, difficulties and no easy solutions, I plea for God to fix it all. I get so exhausted emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually with the complexities I am facing. I keep saying to myself that I have tried to always been kind and considerate of others, to be caring and loving, to be supportive and open. I have been a good person. So why? Why has my life been tumbled upside down and dumped in the mud? Why has my soul mate become a stranger whom I fear? Why has the person I have loved for 36 years become a stranger? Why am I facing so much loss in my life? Why?
We all have often asked WHY. So many face so much sorrow, worry and grief. I am sure that the word WHY has flown to God many times in prayers.
I want to bargain with God, to ask him to fix things, to make it all better, and ask him to tell me what he wants from me. I feel so weak.
Here I am, almost 60 years old, and my future seems so bleak and frightening. I know things must change, yet that change is like stepping out of a hot air balloon and hoping the clouds will hold you. It is hard to have faith that the clouds will bear your weight.
I am trying, Lord, I am trying.

COPING

2012-01-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

It is so difficult caring for a loved one who has dementia. At times they can seem like normal, like they used to be, and you push the reality back in your mind pretending it does not exist. But it does, and its effects seem to always be a shock even though you have read all about it and know what is to be expected. I have to constantly remind myself that this is not him who is cursing, calling me names, and saying hateful things. I remind myself that it is the disease. Yet I will find myself thinking or saying, "Why is he doing this?" It is so hard to face. Especially when you love that person.
I was speaking with a counselor about it and she told me that the person affected by dementia will often turn against the closest person to them, the main caregiver, who usually is a spouse or a son or daughter. They can become so cruel in what they say. They become paranoid and will accuse the caregiver or doctors or nurses of many things. Foul language becomes common. Most watch television all the time and will confuse their life with story lines from television shows.
What is most heartbreaking isn't all the cruel words, name calling, suspicions, and accusations. The most heartbreaking thing is seeing that person slowly dissolve, slowly melt into the disease. You know what they used to be like and it is hard to say good bye to that person. Hard to watch the fading away.

FROSTY FROLIC

2012-01-11T00:57:00.000-08:00

We has what is referred to as a hoarfrost one day not long ago, and I had a need to escape and wander in a natural setting. Camera round my neck, I strolled in awe at the thorny frost on the plants.

Everything was covered in crystalline thorns which melted at the slightest touch.

Such a magical scene.
I half expected the Snow Queen
of fairy tales to come walking
down the path toward me.

Everything seemed so hushed and eerie.

I was all alone and wished someone were there so I could say, "Look at this! This is so lovely!"

I snapped away with my camera to share what I witnessed for it is too difficult to describe.
My breath puffed visibly as I sauntered slowly, admiring the icy stillness.

Enjoy witnessing the wonder I discovered.

NEW YEAR

2012-01-02T20:07:00.000-08:00

I am having a hard time welcoming the new year. As I sat here today I pondered all the difficulties this past year held. Sure, there were good days interrupted with turmoil, depression and worry. I would love to think that this new year would hold miracles, with healing for my husband at the top of my list. As much as I would love this to happen, I know it is not possible. He will continue to deteriorate.
Dementia is difficult to live with, difficult to watch. It is like a magic trick where someone disappears, only it is not a physical disappearance. The mind, the personality, the person you knew slowly evaporates.
There is no way to wave a magic wand, say ABRACADABRA, and make it all as it was. But wouldn't it be wonderful if you could?
What is really difficult is knowing that he knows what is happening to him. He loses control and I know he must be frightened.
He used to be so gentle and thoughtful, had the greatest laugh, was always so calm. I remind myself every day that he is ill and does not really mean things he says and does. But it is still difficult to face.
I know this new year will hold more pain, more hurt and more loss.
Today I may have felt lost and frightened, but I know I will get through this new year. It will not be easy, and I will have days I break down. But I have friends and family who are there to offer hugs, to listen and just accept me. This is a great blessing and I thank God.
And each day I will see some beauty, even if it is just a little thing like watching a dandelion seed float on a breeze.

POEM

2012-01-01T18:53:00.000-08:00

HE IS GONE

I woke

and mourned

and remembered

the day we opened our scrolls,

looked into each others eyes,

and read our vows;

recalled campfires, games, a thieving squirrel,

sharing experiences together

in peaceful campgrounds, scenic surroundings;

remembered you lifting me

across the threshold of our first house,

laughed recalling the baby skunk experience,

smiled as I pictured the first time

we met our son and you tenderly

touched his hand and held mine.

Moments and memories flashed by,

a movie scrolling through my mind,

filled with joy, laughter, love.

I mourn that this

is all I have left.

There will be no more

pleasurable memories added

to this incomplete film.

I move down the stairs,

turn the corner,

amble behind the recliner

and glance down at you.

This illness seized you,

separated us.

Continual grief

is heartbreaking.

THE TRUE MEANING

2011-12-24T02:30:00.000-08:00

I was at the store today picking up a few groceries and could not help but notice all of the people hustling around buying last minute gifts. Some were in good spirits, some a bit grumpy. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the crowds, the hustling around, the noise...and I wondered how many share the actual reason for this celebration.
When I think about the story, in my mind one particular voice rings out with the words. And it has always touched me.
When Charlie Brown shouted out, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" Linus related the story. Every time I get a lump in my throat and my eyes moisten up. And I am thankful for the reminder.
http://youtu.be/3dj9mpBdUAU

God Bless us every one.

SOCK IT TO ME

2011-12-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

My friend, Roxie, posted about her positively pink socks:

http://sannasbag.blogspot.com/2011/12/note-to-fashion-police.html#links

It made me pick through my sock drawer and decide to show off my creative collection!

As you can see, I am partial to socks with kitty cats on them. One lone pair with cuddling dogs.

Socks for October...

socks for December...

and winter...

tumbling teddy bears, Pooh bear, smiley faces...

KISS ME, rubber ducky, hand prints...

and a variety of posy patterns.

Does my unusual variety of stockings mean I am eccentric?

I like to think it means I am young at heart!!

FROSTY WONDERLAND

2011-12-14T00:31:00.000-08:00

One frosty morning I went for a stroll around my yard and discovered jewels.

A delicate spiderweb is already beautiful but covered in icy crystals, it was magnificence.

Such a delicate necklace of frosty glistening jewels.

Leaves

sparkled.

It was all so beautiful to see nature so brilliantly

adorned.

NEW BOOK BY LISA NOWAK, AUTHOR

2011-12-11T19:44:00.000-08:00

Getting shipped off to live with his uncle Race was the best thing that ever happened to fifteen-year-old Cody. Then a wreck at the speedway nearly ruined everything. Cody’s making every effort to get his life back on track—writing for the school paper, searching for the perfect girlfriend, and counting the days until he gets his drivers’ license—but there’s no escaping the nightmares that haunt him.
A chance to build his own car seems like the perfect distraction. Until Cody realizes he’ll have to live up to Race’s legendary status. But that’s the least of his worries, considering he doesn’t have his dad’s permission. All he has to do is the impossible: keep Race from discovering his lie until he can convince his dad that racing’s safe.
Yeah, sure. That’ll be easy.
You can buy it on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Sideways-Full-Throttle-ebook/dp/B006HYZHNI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1323117522&sr=8-2

You can buy it at Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/getting-sideways-lisa-nowak/1107874654?ean=2940013456822&itm=1&usri=getting+sideways&cm_mmc=AFFILIATES-_-Linkshare-_-TnL5HPStwNw-_-10:1
You can buy it at Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/111110

Haven’t read the first book? What are you waiting for? Running Wide Open is on sale now for 99 cents.

Cody Everett has a temper as hot as the flashpoint of racing fuel, and it's landed him at his uncle's trailer, a last-chance home before military school. But how can he take the guy seriously when he calls himself Race, eats Twinkies for breakfast, and pals around with rednecks who drive in circles every Saturday night?

What Cody doesn't expect is for the arrangement to work. Or for Race to become the friend and mentor he's been looking for all his life. But just as Cody begins to settle in and get a handle on his supercharged temper, a crisis sends his life spinning out of control. Everything he's come to care about is threatened, and he has to choose between falling back on his old, familiar anger or stepping up to prove his loyalty to the only person he's ever dared to trust.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Running-Wide-Open-ebook/dp/B0054KNJ4K/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1307462286&sr=8-3-spell
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/running-wide-open-lisa-nowak/1102696972?ean=2940012964984&itm=2&usri=running%2bwide%2bopen
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63863

It’s finally finished. Almost six months to the day after I published Running Wide Open, I uploaded Getting Sideways. I’m shooting for three to four months to get Driven done, and I think I might be able to accomplish that, considering that I don’t have to do any landscaping, publish anyone else’s books, take a trip to California, or volunteer for any writing conferences. I also have absolutely no intentions of going camping, and though I am going to treat myself to a trip to Eugene, it will only be for a day. In other words, nothing but writing and marketing for the next three months.
I did my last major landscaping job for the season on Friday, a full two weeks after I’d normally be done. The last ten days of that were spent in colder than usual weather. If Mother Nature’s going to be late with letting the leaves come down, she could at least keep the heat turned up a little longer.
It’s been absolutely exhausting these last six weeks, doing double duty with the landscaping and the publishing. The pace I’ve had to keep up this entire year has been tough, but since the beginning of November, it’s been particularly brutal. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Normally during leaf clean up season I can come home and relax for the rest of the day, but when you’re trying to put a book out, that doesn’t happen. But that’s all over with now. The landscaping is done. The book is published. And now I can finally get caught up on the social networking I’ve been ignoring (including reading all those blogs I’ve been neglecting) and make some serious strides with the marketing.
So here it is, launch day for my second title. I’ve busted my butt to get here, and I think it’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy it. If any of you would like to help me promote the book, feel free to tweet one of the following messages or post it on Facebook. Most of these links go the Running Wide Open, but I’m trying to promote that too, since a lot of people won’t have read it.

"It doesn’t matter if you are a racing fan or not, Running Wide Open will captivate you and capture your heart." – Cari J, Amazon reviewer

“The roar of engines practically explodes off the page in this compelling, heart-thumping debut. Cody Everett is a straight-shooter with attitude, smarts, and whip-cracking wit; he doesn’t pull any punches, and neither does author Lisa Nowak. The collision of Cody and the world of stock car racing makes for a great story, one of the best I’ve read in a long time. Running Wide Open is a book not to be missed.” - Christine Fletcher, author of Tallulah Falls and Ten Cents a Dance

"The racing is easy to understand and does not get in the way of a rattling good story. I still couldn’t put it down on a re-read." – Elisabeth Miles, Amazon reviewer

"We race stock cars during the summer and even though this is a recommended read for Young Adults, we are seniors and enjoyed every page. We can hardly wait for the sequel to come out. MUST READING!" – Maxci Jermann, Barnes and Noble reviewer

"I say read this book, it’s fun, it’s beautiful, it’s a very cool read that will give you a feel-good state of mind. Awesome read." - L.E.Olteano, Butterfly-o-meter Books
Running Wide Open is on sale for 99 cents. A great read for NASCAR Racing fans http://amzn.to/RWOAmazon
Looking for a great YA boy book? Running Wide Open by Lisa Nowak http://amzn.to/RWOAmazon
A great gift for the #NASCAR #racing fan on your list. Running Wide Open http://amzn.to/RWOAmazonPB http://bit.ly /RWOBarnesandNoblePB
Getting Sideways is now available. Book 2 in the Full Throttle #racing series http://amzn.to/GSAMAZON

In addition to being a YA author, Lisa Nowak is a retired amateur stock car racer, an accomplished cat whisperer, and a professional smartass. She writes coming-of-age books about kids in hard luck situations who learn to appreciate their own value after finding mentors who love them for who they are. She enjoys dark chocolate and stout beer and constantly works toward employing wei wu wei in her life, all the while realizing that the struggle itself is an oxymoron.

Lisa has no spare time, but if she did she’d use it to tend to her expansive perennial garden, watch medical dramas, take long walks after dark, and teach her cats to play poker. For those of you who might be wondering, she is not, and has never been, a diaper-wearing astronaut. She lives in Milwaukie, Oregon, with her husband, four feline companions, and two giant sequoias.

Connect with Lisa online:

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Lisa_Nowak

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LisaNowakAuthor

Google +: https://plus.google.com/107922785702308694621/posts

Blog: http://lisanowak.wordpress.com/

Subscribe to her newsletter for updates about coming attractions: http://wordpress.us2.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=adae2a6c0deeb9e2337a023a0&id=8e259a6b3c

ANOTHER RECOMMENDATION

2011-12-08T23:11:00.000-08:00

I just watched the movie THE HELP, and my recommendation--must see!!!! First of all, one of the main characters-Skeeter-wants to be a writer. I know a few women with the same aspiration! But Skeeter also wants to write a book sharing the feelings and experiences and treatment of the women and men who are the "help" in this Mississippi town in the 1960's.
I was young in the 60's, in high school 1966-1970, and had heard "stories" of what was happening at the time but was naive and maybe protected from it all. This movie was so revealing for me. It touched me and I laughed and cried.
The Home Health Sanitation Initiative that one character proposes which would require White homes to have outside toilets for the Negro help so they would not sit on the same toilets as the white family was such a shock to me. The treatment of the help in the homes of these people was so sad.
I fell in love with the character Celia Foote. She was so kind and accepting of Minny whom she hires to help her. When Celia insisted on sitting down at the same table to eat lunch with Minny I was so moved. Such a kind and accepting thing to do. I loved how innocent, naive and kind Celia was and hated the way the other women of the town treated her. Hilly helps to teach Celia how to cook, dress and act. They have a relationship closer to girlfriends than employer/employee. Hilly keeps bugging Skeeter to put the information about her initiative in the newsletter she writes for and to also ask people to bring old coats to her house for the Negroes. Skeeter puts Hilly's new law in the newsletter, as well as an advertisement to bring old coats to Hilly's house. Skeeter changes it from coats to commodes and it is so funny to see Hilly discovering her lawn covered in old toilets. It was funny until the child, Mae Mobley, sits on one of the toilets and goes potty. Her mother, Elizabeth, slaps her till she is sobbing. Later Aibeleen, the negro woman who cares for Mae, holds little Mae and whispers to her "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." Sad and touching scene.
There is so much more in this movie to tug at your heart strings, but I do not want to give it all away. I just have to say see this movie. And have a box of tissues handy.

TEMPLE GRANDIN

2011-12-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

I just watched an amazing movie based on the true story of Temple Grandin. Temple was diagnosed with autism in 1950 when she was 3 years old. Her mother was advised to put her away in a special home, but she would not give up on her daughter. The movie is so touching and informative. Temple attended a boarding school called Hampshire Country school, which was a school for gifted children. She went on to attend Franklin Pierce College and earn a Bachelor;s Degree in psychology.
But Temple did not stop there, and she attended Arizona State University where she earned a Master's Degree in animal science and then A Doctoral Degree in animal science at the University of Illinois. On May 16, 2010, Grandin also received an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters from Duke University.
Today she teaches courses on livestock behavior and facility design at Colorado State University and consults with the livestock industry on facility design, livestock handling, and animal welfare.
She now has her own website as well: http://www.templegrandin.com/
This is such an inspiring movie and will touch you.

Despite her disability and because of her disability she became a success in life. She found ways to get through difficulties and open the doors to new experiences.
When you learn of some of her accomplishments you will be amazed.
I do not want to give the story away completely. Get the movie and watch it.

(photo of the real Temple Grandin)

THANKS GIVING

2011-11-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

I do not think one day of giving thanks is right. We should give thanks every day. That is what I try to do. Even on the worst of days, there is always something for which to say thank you. Sometimes it might be for a small thing that seems insignificant--a clear night sky, a smile in passing, a compliment, bird song, colors of fall, a comforting hug, caring friends, the sound of laughter. In each experience there is a touch of God. So we should not only say thank you to loved ones, friends, and family, but we should thank God for the blessings of each in our lives.

I am so very thankful for each blessing bestowed in my life. Without my friends I could not endure difficulties. Without smiles I would lose hope. Without hugs I would feel forgotten. Without the colors of fall I would forget to notice the world created for us.

So even though my days might include difficulties, they also include blessings. Without such blessings I would not live through the difficulties.

Thank you friends.

Thank you family and loved ones.

Thank you Kala, my caring cat.

Thank you God.

SEEKING TREASURES AND MEMORIES?

2011-11-21T00:18:00.000-08:00

If any of you are seeking remembered treasures from the past, unique china or glassware, baskets, vintage lighting and furniture, paintings, prints, unique frames -- any and all types of treasures, then I highly recommend hunting through the bounty at the new Oregon Antique Mall here in Oregon City. It is reopened after being remodeled and is wonderful.

It is a veritable treasure trove!

You can even find vintage linens.

You can find lighting to fit just about any era.

A wide array of lighting for almost any era or style.

Are you seeking teacups and teapots? They have 'em!

Plates, bowls, pitchers...

pillows, wicker, tables. frames, trays...

dressing tables, figurines,
globes, windows,...

There is a plethora of wonderful items to peruse and purchase.
The address is 502 7th St., entrance on Center St. or through the Friends of Oregon City Library bookstore on the corner of Center and 7th St. Browse through the bookstore while you are here.
They have great prices!
Oregon Antique Mall has 11,000 sq. ft. filled with antiques, and miscellany.

Sun	11am–5pm
Mon-Sat	11am–6pm

GOD'S ARTISTRY

2011-11-14T00:51:00.000-08:00

The Lord created a colorful carpet for me to walk upon today.

A path so filled with brilliance and beauty.

Trees flowed with his brush strokes.

I celebrated being witness to such artistry.

SOMETHING OF INTEREST: WALK WITH THE SPIRITS

2011-11-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

Northwest Ghost Tours offers a jaunt by some of Oregon City's spirited areas and places while entertaining you with ghost stories learned through documented research. Listen to stories of the city's legends and folklore.
Below is information on NW Ghost Tours. They offer 2 different tours: McLoughlin neighborhood and Downtown Oregon City.
More may be discovered at their website:
nwghosttours.com

McLoughlin Neighborhood Tour

Adults: $12.00 13 and Under: $10.00

Fridays (June 10-Sept. 30th) @ 7:15pm

Saturdays (June 11-Sept. 24th) @ 9:30pm

Thursdays-Saturdays (October) @ 7:15pm and 9:30pm

Tours are 2 hours and cover over 20 blocks of the Historic McLoughlin Neighborhood in Oregon City. Tours start and end at the Ermatinger House at 6th and John Adams St.

Reservations are required by email or by phone:

reservations@nwghosttours.com

503-679-4464

(E-mail reservations must be made at least 24 hours in advance.) Pay on-site the night of your tour. Tour times are subject to change.

Downtown Oregon City Tour

Adults: $12.00 13 and Under: $10.00

Fridays (June 10-Sept. 30th) @ 9:30pm

Saturdays (June 11-Sept. 24th) @ 7:15pm

Thursdays-Saturdays (October) @ 7:15pm and 9:30pm

Tours are 2 hours and cover over 20 blocks of Historic Downtown Oregon City. Tours start and end at the base of the Oregon City Elevator on Railroad Ave.

Reservations are required by email or by phone:

reservations@nwghosttours.com

503-679-4464

(E-mail reservations must be made at least 24 hours in advance.) Pay on-site the night of your tour. Tour times are subject to change.

Private tours can be scheduled anytime throughout the year or at any time during non-regularly scheduled tours for groups of 8 people or more.

We are also able to offer non-ghost tours in Oregon City to groups on a range of topics including history, art/murals, movie/film locations and more. Just let us know and we will create a unique tour just for you!

Contact us by email or by phone:

reservations@nwghosttours.com

503-679-4464

A LAST FLING WITH FALL

2011-11-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I took a walk on the Clackamas Community College campus to witness autumn's amazing array of brilliance. It is so fleeting and I wanted to capture some of it to look at when the days are gray. I love the splashes of color.

Bejeweled leaves glisten like a countess bedecked in diamonds.

And when the sunshine hits them they dazzle with rainbow colors hidden inside each droplet.

Color is flung upon the green grass adding vibrancy to the emerald path.

Color blazes upon each branch, and the sunlight plays tag with the fluttering leaves just before they parachute to the ground.

Dangling like peachy pendants they hang, colorful teardrops waiting the moment they are shed.

As the sunlight dances across leaves, shadows leap and pirouette, and I can hear the winds song influencing them.

Lanced sunlight plays peek-a-boo with me.

As I gaze up through the tree's canopy I feel as though I have entered a Pollock painting.

Some colors are subtle...

...while others scream, "look at me!"

Then there is the delicate wisp of color which pierces the cloudy blue sky and create a lacy rainbow effect.

Gold is not only worn on fingers, necks or wrists.

Mother Nature wears gold splendidly.

I think Mother Nature paints beautifully!

MORE THAN LOVE

2011-11-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

Cats have always been special to me. I have a connection with them and have had many in my life over the years.

My present cat is Kala and she the most loving cat I have ever had. Sometimes I think it is because she knows I have a great need. She seems to sense when I am down or worried or stressed. There are times I have been crying and she will come up to me, look into my eyes, and place her paw up to my face or chest as if to say, "I am here for you."

Then I will cuddle her and let the tears flow as she licks my face and purrs to calm me.

When I am feeling stressed she will climb onto my lap and purr and give me kisses and massages with her feet, constantly looking up to my eyes and purring the whole time.

I have had a lot of stresses and sadness in the last few years and I do not think I would have been able to manage without the love and strength I receive from this ebony bundle.

Some may say I am crazy to feel that my cat is comforting, loving, caring and kind. But when you have experienced a bond with a pet, you know what I am talking about. And those of us who have had this in our lives are very blessed.

PAINTED PUMPKINS

2011-10-26T20:42:00.000-07:00

Christina, mommy to Bella and Brogan, sent me a few pictures to share. I had forgotten to photograph the pumpkins I painted for Brogan and Bella! She was kind enough to do that for me!

These are the big pumpkins...

and these are the little pumpkins. The green one on the left side was the one Brogan painted.

Here is Nana Rose assisting Brogan in his painting. I squeezed the paint into the tray!

Here Brogan poses on a huge pumpkin (he would have brought it home if we could have lifted it!).

Love the sunflower backdrop!

And last but definitely not least is little Bella in the shirt Nana Rose gave her!

What a cutie!!

PUMPKIN PATCH FUN

2011-10-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

A week ago I got to tag along with Brogan, Bella and family to go to a pumpkin patch. They had a few fun attractions for the little tikes and a small petting zoo (though a sign warned to watch out for the chicken and rooster--they peck!). Brogan was in awe of the animals.

Brogan also enjoyed the various rides they offered. I must tell you, he has no fear!

He slid down the inflatable slide, swung on the twirling swings, and smiled and laughed.

Then Brogan painted his own pumpkin. I think this was his first experience painting something. Between Grandma Sue and Nana Rose I am sure there will be more painting experiences in his future.

They had a wall where people could put their faces into the holes to become the Halloween characters. Bella became a smiling black cat and Brogan was a mummy, though he thought I said mommy and said, "there's my mommy!"

Then they switched and Brogan was a ghost while Bella became a bubbly pumpkin.

Of course, Brogan had to strike a pose upon a bale of hay. What a heart breaker!

Brogan and Grandma Sue posed upon pumpkins. I love the sunflowers in the background.

Then Sue posed with her daughter, Christina, and granddaughter, Bella.

We had an enjoyable time despite a bit of mud.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Holocaust Survivor visits CCC on Oct. 27

2011-10-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Holocaust survivor Alter Wiener will speak at CCC on Thursday, October 27, from noon to 2 p.m. in the McLoughlin Auditorium. In Alter Wiener’s book, “64735 - From A Name to A Number, a Holocaust Survivor’s Autobiography,” he conveys the message that prejudice leads to tragedy, and tolerance is imperative.By the time the war ended, Alter would lose 123 members of his extended family.
Alter Wiener's father was brutally murdered on September 11, 1939 by the German invaders of Poland. At that time, Alter was a boy of 13. When he was 15 he was sent to Blechhammer in Germany, a Forced Labor Camp for Jew. In all, he survived five camps. He was liberated by the Russian Army on May 9, 1945. He weighed only 80 pounds.
It wasn’t until he moved to Oregon that he began talking about his experience after meeting another Holocaust survivor. Alter Wiener points out that there are 180 Holocaust survivors in Oregon and only a handful in the Portland area. "In 10 years they are all going to be gone," he says.
Who then will tell the story.
Mr. Wiener is a member of the Oregon Holocaust Resource Center. Since moving to Oregon when he was 73, he has spoken to 700 audiences. Be sure to hear his story. There is no cost to attend the presentation. For more information, please contact Tiffanie Clifford at 503-594-3457

CLACKAMAS REPERTORY THEATRE DOES IT AGAIN!

2011-10-09T00:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I attended the play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? put on by the Clackamas Repertory Theatre and was glad I did. I was blown away. I applaud David Smith-English for his amazing direction of this play and for the wonderful casting of actors/actresses.

Martha was portrayed by K. B. Mercer and I have got to say that she was amazing. I first noted that there is a bit of resemblance to Bette Davis in look, and then her acting made me feel that she had channeled Bette! She was wonderful and held me spellbound. And her mate, George, portrayed by Doren Elias, was an absolute perfect counterpart for her. He was perfection in the role. The two of them together were a magnificent match! They kept me focused from beginning to end. I felt the emotion, like riding a roller coaster. The last chance to see this jewel of a play is Sunday, October 9th at 2:30 pm. If you do not have plans, go to see it and you will walk away saying, "WOW!" If you have plans, change them just to attend this play and experience it! You will be glad you did!

I LEFT MY RHYTHM IN THE 70's

2011-09-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended my second Zumba class at Clackamas Community College. My conclusion so far is that I left my coordination and rhythm in the 1970's. That was the last time I danced, so this is why I picked that time.

Here is what Zumba Dance exercise looks like:

http://youtu.be/qsSrq3HBa7A

I had seen the commercials on television and would think how much fun it looked like they were having. I always enjoyed dancing many years ago (36 to be exact!) and figured it would be like riding a bike. I had forgotten that once when I tried riding a bike again after many years, it did not go well. I soon discovered that it would not be so easy to dance.

I have the willingness and eagerness, but unfortunately my body does not. Since the last time I had danced I have put on a few pounds (okay, maybe a little more than a few), had a knee replacement, have another knee on the way out, and have aged.

I also discovered that I seem to have lost my rhythm. The teacher, a dear friend named Maria, would demonstrate the moves for your legs and feet. Then she would show what to do with the arms while moving the legs and feet. Then a few "booty pops" and other body movements are thrown in. For some reason I could not coordinate it all together into one neat package. I would get my legs and feet going and forget the arms. If I concentrated on the arm movements, I would find my feet were not moving. And thus the difficulty of moving several things at once was discovered. Now I am wondering if I am able to chew gum and walk at the same time?

Another thing is the room where we do the dance exercising. There are mirrors, HUGE mirrors, and you see yourself looking like an elephant stomping around in ballet slippers. They also make me face the reality of how I really look instead of hanging on to the image which I hold in my brain and is the one I prefer.

Several of us in the class suggested covering the walls of mirrors, but I doubt that will happen.

I am going to hang in there and see if I can possibly get the hang of Zumba exercise and find my rhythm and coordination. Who knows, maybe this old lady will achieve the ability to Zumba.

And maybe even learn to do the "booty pop." But never outside of the class!

MORE ON THE OUTHOUSE

2011-09-25T19:26:00.000-07:00

I decided to add a little more info. for those who seemed interested in maybe going back to the old ways and becoming more environmentally active.
This company has a waterless composting toilet! Ed Begley, Jr., who is a big environmentalist, is one of its backers. Go to their site to read about it.
http://www.compostingtoilet.org/news/
Here is an article on building a modern and non-smelly outhouse!
http://www.brighthub.com/environment/green-living/articles/108266.aspx
And another DIY article:
http://home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/how-to-build/how-to-build-outhouse.htm And here is a guy who has a patent on an in-house outhouse! Similar to a Swedish design:
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Do-It-Yourself/1983-03-01/Build-An-Outhouse-Inside.aspx Other articles to peruse:
http://www.farmiq.com/soil-building/how-to-build-an-outhouse/
http://www.outdora.com/lawn---garden-composting-toilets.html?gclid=CIy9u87ruasCFSOAgwodrWrKdQ
http://www.woodlanddirect.com/Outdoor/Composting-Toilets

SKIP TO THE LOO

2011-09-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

My friend, Barbara F., wrote an article on her blog about outhouses (read it here at this link):
http://barbfroman.wordpress.com/
It got me to pondering my experiences with outhouses.

I can remember outhouses because some of my relatives in Missouri had them still being used in the 1950's and early 1960's while I was growing up. My grandma even had a chamber pot in her enclosed patio room to use at night so to avoid the walk in the dark to the outhouse. I preferred the walk as I did not want to empty and clean that pot after use. It was a culture shock to we "city kids" and gave an excuse to my brothers to pee at a tree. At night time it seemed as if the outhouses were much further from the houses and the darkness was filled with strange creatures who we could hear but not see. Of course, the tales an uncle told to we impressionable children of a woman who would entice us close to her and then change into a wolf and eat us did nothing to alleviate our fears. Usually traveling in pairs at night, and sometimes all four of us (2 girls, 2 boys) at one time to that distant outhouse, our ears would catch every sound.

"What was that? Did you hear it?" Pace quickened, once we arrived at the outhouse, there was often a debate as to who would enter. Usually it would be my sister and I since my brothers would give in to the "ladies first" rule we pointed out to them. This is similar to what the outhouses I remember looked like.

Nothing fancy, rather plain, but it did the job.

Picture found at: http://ecolocalizer.com/2008/09/23/welcome-to-a-world-and-outhouses-made-by-hand/
I wish they had resembled the one pictured below and I think we would not have minded them so much!

Picture found at: http://compostingtoilet.org/applications/outhouses/index.php
The outhouse below would have been too cute to resist using!

Picture found at: http://thebesttimeoftheday.blogspot.com/2009/08/outhouses.html

I can picture my brothers climbing on the side of this outhouse pictured above. This outhouse is what I call a "manly" outhouse. Perfect for every log cabin! Picture from:
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2009/02/dumping_improper_crap_in_an_ou.php
Some people decorate their outhouses. I think these are all so unique and cute! I would use them!

What we are used to seeing now are these:

Rather boring but useful.

I think every outhouse needs a few items.

You need storage for extra rolls of TP as you could not holler for someone to bring another roll to you!

You must have reading material and toilet paper and this handy item works fine for both. It also goes along with the theme!

My outhouse would need a small sink as I do like to wash my hands right after.

I think this set up works nicely and definitely has that country look.

And the toilet seat must have some character. This is the one I would use.

Since the outhouse will be used by a variety of men as well as women, we women would want one of these:

Then there is the various artwork signs...

The door to the outhouse could display this sign:

Yep, lotsa ideas to ponder when considering adding an outhouse to your humble abode.

Hmmm...maybe if you could get wireless out there, the place would be a retreat of sorts.

You could be pretty sure that no one would be botherin' ya!

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Mark Twain

2011-09-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

forgive -

1. to cease to blame or hold resentment against (someone or something)

2. to grant pardon for (a mistake, wrongdoing, etc.)

3. to free or pardon (someone) from penalty

4. to free from the obligation of (a debt, payment, etc.)

definition from Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged

Today I spent a lot of time pondering forgiveness. It began this morning at Prince of Life Lutheran in Oregon City when Pastor John gave his sermon on forgiving, a sermon so appropriate for today (9-11).

This afternoon I watched the movie AMISH GRACE, a true story about an incident when a gunman killed five Amish children and injured five others in a Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania schoolhouse shooting in October of 2006. The media attention told about the tragic events and the extraordinary forgiveness demonstrated by the Amish community. The movie explores the Amish's astonishing reaction to the horrific shootings, that of forgiveness and compassion.

This all led me to researching differing religious views, the idea of forgiveness, and how to achieve it.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.” Luke 6:27-29

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36

“Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

"Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22

God is very clear about forgiveness. He provided us with direction in various Scriptures, all of which can be summed up in just one word -- forgive!

Jesus had the power to forgive and granted us with the ability to forgive others just as we have been forgiven. Forgiveness is such a hard thing to do, but it can be so liberating to our soul. We define forgiveness as meaning that we should say all is forgotten, but how can you forgive something you feel is unforgivable? All that's required is that we make a decision to move forward, to let go of the hurt and anger, and let God guide us. We don't have to close our eyes to what's been done.

We forgive them because God forgave us (Ephesians 4:31-32 and Romans 5:8).
To “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt, to release from blame, to hold no resentment. When we wrong someone, we should seek their forgiveness. Forgiveness is not given because a person deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace.
We forgive because we have been forgiven by God. (Ephesians 4:32). We forgive in respect to God (Matthew 6:14-15; Romans 12:18). We forgive to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions (Genesis 4:1-8). We forgive so we will not become bitter and dishonor those around us (Hebrews 12:14-15).

To receive forgiveness from God, a person must recognize the offense and admit it before God, make a commitment to not repeat the offense, do what you can to rectify the offense, ask pardon of the offended person, and ask for forgiveness from God. There are no set words to say when asking for forgiveness.

In Judaism it is believed that if a person cause’s harm to someone, then sincerely apologizes to that wronged individual and tries to rectify things, the wronged individual is required to grant forgiveness. "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. Forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10) One must go to those he has harmed in order to be entitled to forgiveness. “One who sincerely apologizes three times for a wrong committed against another has fulfilled his or her obligation to seek forgiveness.” (Shulchan Aruch) OC 606:1

Islam teaches that God is Al-Ghaffur, which means "The All-Forgiving." God is the original source of all forgiveness. Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from the person who was wronged. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven. The Qur'an makes it clear that, whenever possible, it is better to forgive another than to attack another. The Qur'an describes believers as those who, “avoid gross sins and vice, and when angered they forgive.” (Qur'an 42:37) and also says that “Although the just requital for an injustice is an equivalent retribution, those who pardon and maintain righteousness are rewarded by GOD. He does not love the unjust. (Qur'an 42:40) Muslims are taught many phrases and words to repeat daily to ask Allah for forgiveness.

For example:

Astaghfiru-Allah, "I ask forgiveness from Allah"
Subhanaka-Allah humma wa bi hamdika wa ash-hadu al la Ilaha illa Anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, "Glory be to You, Allah, and with You Praise (thanks) and I bear witness that there is no deity but You, I ask Your forgiveness and I return to You (in obedience)".

In the Bahá'í Writings, this is how they teach you to be forgiving towards others: "Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness."
Abdu'l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92

Buddhism says that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our mind, aka karma. Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts to provide a nourishing outcome. "In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing mettā and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all. When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality. Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions.” Spirit of Vatican II: Buddhism – Buddhism and Forgiveness". 2006.

If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers." "Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery - Preparing for Death" 2006.

Buddhism places emphasis on the concepts of Mettā (loving kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkhā (equanimity), as a means to avoid resentments from beginning. These ideas are used to help us understand suffering in our world, in our loves and in others.

Hinduism says forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong. Forgiveness subdues all in this world. What is there that forgiveness cannot achieve? What can a wicked person do to one who carries the saber of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grass-less ground is extinguished of itself. And unforgiving individual defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge is one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness." (From the Mahabharata, Udyoga Parva Section XXXIII

A Course In Miracles ( http://acim.org/AboutACIM/how.html) teaches that an individual's achievement of the ability to forgive fully, absolutely, and without any reserve, is in fact the "most direct path to the attainment of one's own personal salvation. Forgiveness is not simply the letting go of one's resentment of certain acts of others, but is the awakening to the remembrance of the inability of others to do anything but to assist one in returning to the awareness of God's loving presence in all things, in all people, and in all situations. All creation is a loving and eternal thought of God. Just as ripples do not change the underlying nature of the water in the pond, God's love IS, as always, unchanged and constant. Forgiveness removes the blocks to seeing the eternal goodness in, and unity and equality with, one’s brother. Forgiveness removes the fog obscuring the reflection of God within others, which leads to the same sight within ourselves. We all remain as God created, united in God’s eternal love—and this is God’s will."

In 1988, the Gallup Organization did a poll and found that 94% said it was important to forgive, but 85% said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive.

It is impossible to live in this world without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected. Learning how to respond to these events is a key of Christian life. How we act toward that person may change. It doesn't mean we will put ourselves back into a harmful situation or that we accept or approve of the person's wrong behavior, but simply means we free them from the wrong they committed against us.

Sometimes we don’t want to forgive those who have slighted, harmed or hurt us. Not forgiving others plants bitterness. When we forgive others, we free ourselves, both spiritually and emotionally. Forgiveness is an act of free will in accord with God’s will, trusting that God will give us emotional healing.
When we experience cruelty, pain, hurt, or loss, we need time to ponder what has happened before we can allow God to guide us to a position of forgiveness. God’s timing is always the right time for each individual. The act of forgiving others is a pact between us and God. We can help individuals who are struggling with the forgiveness of others. By supporting them with encouraging words and listening to them, we aid them in steps towards forgiving.

We must release the negative emotions associated with the event. As long as we hold onto the pain and hurt, we are choosing to allow that person to continue to hurt us. We choose to stop allowing them to hurt us. You must say, “I am choosing to let go of the pain you have caused me, for my own sake. I am choosing to take back my power so that I may heal. I will release all of the hurtful emotions I feel.”

Every day we should forgive the small slights caused by strangers -- a discourteous clerk, an unsafe driver, someone who teased you, someone who snubbed you, etc. These events are practice to prepare us for tougher tasks of forgiving significant harms. Tell yourself it is unrealistic to expect people to always act civilly and respectfully toward you. Acknowledge that everyone is imperfect and capable of making mistakes.

"Holding a grudge takes mental, emotional, and physical energy. It makes you obsessive, angry, and depressed," states Barry Lubetkin, a psychologist and director of the Institute for Behavior Therapy in New York City.

Whenever a hostile or hateful thought enters your mind, try to be fully aware of the harm it can do to you. Allow this knowledge to motivate you to forgive and let go. Lack of forgiveness is giving others power over you. Forgiveness is a priceless gift which you can give to yourself and your family.

It is in our own best interest to forgive. Forgiving frees us from anger and enables us to receive the healing we need. We are the ones God is trying to protect, the ones who receive the most benefit from forgiveness, not the person who has harmed or hurt us. To be unforgiving jeopardizes our walk with God. The whole reason God has given us explicit guidelines is because He does not want anything to stand between us and the path to Him. We need to fully forgive from our hearts. We need to choose to be open to forgiveness and reconciliation. Nothing can undo the past, but we can do something about our own present and future. Forgiving others makes a way for our own healing to begin.

Your forgiveness may ultimately have the power to transform the life of the person you are forgiving. Not always, but sometimes. And if it does, in forgiving them you're not only setting yourself free, but you're also contributing to something the world is crying out for in more places than you could probably name--peace.

A former inmate of a Nazi concentration camp was visiting a friend who shared the ordeal with him. "Have you forgiven the Nazis?" he asked his friend. "Yes." "Well, I haven't. I'm still consumed with hatred for them," the other man declared. "In that case," said his friend gently, "they still have you in prison."

We are not obliged to like anyone; but we are under a binding obligation to love everyone and through it experience a feeling of peace and happiness.

Simply say: "I freely forgive everyone." It takes great courage, and commitment to forgive.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. Bitterness and anger imprison you, emotionally, physically and mentally. Forgiveness sets you free.

Through the freedom that forgiving brings, we gain the capacity for greater joy, laughter and celebration.

I read this idea somewhere, and feel it is worthy of sharing:

Bury the grudge -- literally. Write a letter to the person who hurt you but don't mail it. Express fully, clearly, honestly how you feel and why that person's act hurt you and made you angry. Conclude with the bold declaration that you have forgiven him or her. Then, bury the letter in a potted plant or somewhere in your yard. This is a powerful symbolic exercise which many people have found to be extremely therapeutic.

The most challenging forgiveness has been forgiving myself - forgiving my failures, my shortcomings, disappointments, angry words, and misunderstandings. If I think I have caused someone hurt or pain or disappointment, I find it hard to forgive myself. I feel horrified and horrible. I feel I should know better. But I must remember that I am human, with emotions and feelings, and I will stumble, I will do things that might be considered hurtful. And in the end I must ask for forgiveness for what I may have done, purposefully or unintentionally, in jest or anger, and then forgive myself. After all, no one is perfect, but we can all strive to be better.

Here are some quotes I found to be perfect for this discussion:

"I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.-- Booker T. Washington's lifelong motto.

Let us forgive each other - only then will we live in peace.--Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself.--Leo F. Buscaglia

He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. Martin Luther King, Jr.

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. -- Robert Muller

When you forgive it takes you from the place of the victim to that of a victor. – Unknown

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice. -- Abraham Lincoln

That moment inside of you where you forgive what’s happened is the moment when you are enlightening yourself. -- John-Roger

Did you know that March 15^th is International Forgiving Day?

Imagine if everyone in the world gave and received forgiveness on that day!

What miracles could happen??

A BETTER MEMORY

2011-09-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

September 11 has been earmarked as a day of tragedy. But for me, September 11th is a day of joy because one of my nephew's, Jake Kubichek, was born that day. Jake is the one in the photo in the dark blue floral shirt above. With him are his brothers, Ben (white shirt), Mason, and his sweet mother, Sophie. Sophie is one of the kindest and gentlest people I know.

When Jake thinks of his birthday, I want him to think of laughter and joy. When he says that September 11th is his birthday, I hope he will not encounter responses of, "Such a sad day." I hope others with respond simply HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!

It is a day of celebration and laughter and joy for the boy who was born on it!

So today I am sending wonderful wishes for a happy celebration to you Jake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

SEE HOW THEY GROW

2011-09-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

My dad sent me photos of the children of my niece and nephew. From left to right:

Viviana Franco, Evangeline Hodgerson, Logan Franco.

They are growing so fast!

Logan does not look very happy.

It looks like all 3 have red hair, though Viviana's and Logan's is very red!

Evangeline is really concentrating on Logan.

Evangeline is the daughter of my nephew, Brian, and his wife, Jamie.

Here is my dad with grand-daughter Viviana. I am told that she is usually not so friendly, so her on my dad's lap is quite the event!

Here is the whole Franco family!

Viviana, her dad Luis, her mother and my niece Vanessa, and Logan.

What a nice looking family!

Soon my nephew, Nicholas, and his wife, Aimee, will be parents!