On Tuesday, June 6th, a friend took me to Trillium Lake up at Mt. Hood to spread the last of my husbands ashes. This had been taking me a long time, a little over 4 years, to do this. Maybe it was too hard to face the finality of it. Clay had wanted his ashes spread in many places and most had been done with the help of family and friends. He loved nature and camping and wanted to be a part of it all. The last act was to go to Trillium Lake a this is a spot where we used to go and fish, hike and camp. It is a beautiful place with a wonderful view of Mt. Hood.
I had written a poem for the occasion and took a small wedding photo of us to leave there.
The night before I could hardly sleep and at one point almost cancelled.
Lots of memories passed through my mind as we drove along.
I remembered times watching Clay ski there. I was his cheer leader as not brave enough to try it myself. I remembered the camping trips. I remembered the squirrels and birds and trees. I remembered fishing and catching crawdads. So many smiling memories.
Once there my friend and I walked around a bit, seeking a quiet spot to do the final good bye.
After a while we located one spot and I prepared myself.
My friend said and prayer and then I poured out the ashes, watching them blend and float into the lake. I hesitantly read my poem, tears stinging my eyes. The I placed the photo in a tree and wept.
After we walked back to the car, my friend took me up to Mt. Hood to Timberline Lodge and I relished its beauty and majesty.
I viewed this one craggy part of a tree and it made me think of Clay, standing and enjoying the wonderfully peaceful scene.
The day was beautiful and my friend was so kind to take me and make the ending be more cheerful.
I realized that it was not really saying good bye as I still have wonderful memories to hold in my heart.